Change

Change is the Essence of life Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.

* Disclaimer: We are not pregnant and I'm not hinting at anything

Change

Do you ever have something truly unexpected happen in your life?


You aren't sure you're happy about it or not? Well, something like that happened recently to Ben and I and I'm determined to make it positive! My friend Stacy has inspired me and I too have been wanting to have a more positive outlook! On work and home life especially and reach out to new/old friends.

It's so hard sometimes to make an effort with people. Especially here in Provo. You never know if people are going to be around for a year, or more, or less. So do you really want to be emotionally invested and then have that friend leave? But I'm determined to. I told myself that I would start to get to know people in the ward better, not just my friends, and invite people over more or to hang out. I get really self-conscious about friends. I worry that we aren't fun enough, or spiritual enough, or cool enough. Basically, enough. But no more!

I really want to surround myself with people that I feel have the same values in life and are positive role-models. An old neighbor just moved back into our complex and we are so excited about it! We really want to reach out and become good friends with them because they are the nicest people and have the cutest little girl.

We also have friends that schedules always seem to conflict with ours, so planning is going to be a new goal. If we plan to hang out, then we will!

I am so excited for this new semester of school. Although I am not starting school like many others around me (very odd feeling, by the way) it is like an un-official new years. A new school year, and a great time to make changes.

On a completely different note, while looking for "change" pictures, I found this one. Thought it was funny. Please, it's just a joke.

Bear Lake!

Bear Lake 2009
We sure did love our vacation to Bear lake with LeAnne and Jason's family, Brent and Jen's family, Mel and Kirk and John! Here are some of our favorite pictures!

We LOVED the wave runners! So much fun!

I got to drive and throw Ben off the back!!

He's gonna be such a good Daddy. Those girls just love him!

The view from our balcony. A golf course! Ben's dream home location!

On the 4-wheelers! Lots of fun, even though I was scared for my life half the time!

Someone who's not afraid... Ryan! Jason and LeAnne's second child. He is no fear!

At the top of the mountain!

Our sweet face Ella! She loved the crushed Ice machine. A true WATKINS girl!

Zack sure does love his uncle Ben!

Out on the Lake

Our stud Ryan!

So that's pretty much it! We stayed in a beautiful home that I just don't have time/patience to put pictures up of, but it was incredible. The best part was spending time with my family, who I don't see very often. We loved this vacation!

Our babies

These are our babies for now. We love them, and they love us. Especially their daddy.

This is Sadie. She make a sqeaking noise when we hug her!

This is Miley, our pretty dog.
Sadie again, all personality.
This is my favorite picture. When I'm getting into bed (Ben is usually already there) Miley walks right over me and steaks her claim on her daddy. It's cute in an annoying sort of way.

So there is a little glimps of our every day life around here. We're still remodeling and stuff. So I'll post those pictures later as well as our Bear Lake trip.

Burgers, Bleach, Vomit and Angel Fishes

This week has been... not fun. At work Monday, it was one of the slowest nights that I have experienced in a long time. It is hard to spend time away from Ben, but especially when I don't feel like it is worth it. 

Then I got a call. And a text. LeAnne needed help. Ella needed to go for a chemo treatment and it was her six week checkup, so x-rays too, and someone needed to take the kids to swim and tennis lessons. But she had a warning: My niece Amanda is visiting them from Oregon, helping out with the kids, was throwing up. I said, "So you're asking me to drive 2 1/2 hours to Logan, get work off, to potentially get sick?" She said, "Yup." So I got someone to cover my shift on Tuesday night, and drove up to Logan on Tuesday afternoon. 

I stopped in Draper and had lunch with Ben, a new sushi place, and we loved it. I drove up there and LeAnne had the bug too. The next morning I woke up to take kids to lessons, and LeAnne said, "Uh, they're not going anywhere." Jake and Ryan were both throwing up. Yum. Amanda was feeling better, but LeAnne still needed me to stick around as long as possible. I had to be to work that afternoon/evening. So around 1 o'clock, I finally left. 

We've been having Brand Equity Review this week at Red Robin, which basically means that we have to detail clean every single inch of the restaurant. I hate bleach. I worked a Wednesday night shift and then stayed until 12:30-ish cleaning. Then I had to go to work Thursday with corporate there and pretend that I was a perky upbeat server who loved my job. Yeah Right. That night, I had to pull gum off the bottom of chair and tables. I hated my job. 

Then we found out about our Ella. He treatment is not working and that is news we weren't prepared for. 

Here is a little piece of LeAnne's blog that explains what is going on:

"We had to go early today to do a skeletal survey--basically they did x-rays of every bone in her body. Then we headed up for our regular appointment which started off extremely well. When it came time to take her vitals, Ella walked right over the scale and stood on it then walked over to the wall to get measured (which is certainly not typical). In fact, she didn't even shed a tear when we did the blood pressure...which is always a major point of anxiety for her. She just did awesome! The nurse then came in to do the Chemo and take blood work. Just before she gave the Chemo the doctor came in and said to hold off. Well, we knew right then something was not right. So we waited...and waited, and when the doctors finally came back they told us that her skeletal survey showed that two of the original legions on her head have actually increased in size and that she has developed another new legion. The large lump behind her ear has stabilized, but not really gotten smaller. That is not what anyone, especially the doctors, wanted to see after six weeks of treatment.

So now what you ask? Well, our Oncology doctors now need to consult with a couple of the "premier" LCH experts in the world, since only one in ten kids with LCH don't show improvement after the first six weeks of treatment (Ella is bound and determined to be a stand-out statistic from everyone else!). There are a couple of possible options for treatment going forward, that obviously will be somewhat more intensive than this initial regiment. We are consigned to wait, for now, for a direction until the doctors make a decision. We are pretty certain it will either be a repeat of the 6-week regiment we just underwent, with an additional drug...or we will go to a more aggressive treatment that involves five consecutive days of 2-hour treatments, repeated every four weeks."

They are a very strong family and we love them very much. We are all confident that this is just a bump in the road and we'll just keep moving forward. 

To cap off the week, Friday I drove John to the airport, but on the way I hit a HUGE piece of metal in the middle of 215 and blew my tire out causing a four hour pain in the butt experience that ending in hitting stop and go traffic on the way home and me not being able to make it into work. SUCK!

Saturday Ben and i kept paining the house. I hate painting, but it's going to look amazing when it's done. Much better than the yucky buttercup yellow that it was. I mean, come on, seriously? Oak furniture, brass hardware, green and grey carpet, baby pink and blue backsplash and yellow walls. WHAT WERE THOSE PEOPLE THINKING!!

So tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully a better week a head. Bear Lake is this weekend with LeAnne and Jay's brood, Brent and Jennifer and family are coming from Oregon, and Mel and Kirk. Wa hoo!