Friday, December 21, 2012

Ranting and Raving about Pants. It really is the end of the world.

I know I never blog, and I think I'm going to start being better about that. No promises though. :) After this, you may never want to read my blog again so it's a win-win.

I decided to write a little post about something that I saw online and I just needed to rant about it for a little bit. So here goes, you are welcome to agree or disagree.

A few weeks back I saw on Facebook this thing calling all Mormon women to wear pants to church. I thought that it was silly that this was an "event" and just ignored all of my friends "liking" this page or event. Then someone I know posted an article by the New York times about this "movement" of Mormon women.

The article said a few things that annoyed me, so here is a list of them and my PERSONAL point of view on them.

Quote from the Article:
"Though the Mormon Church has no official policy against women wearing pants to church, many say they feel peer pressure to wear a dress, particularly in the Western United States, organizers said."

My Opinion:
This is an honest question, "Who is pressuring you?" Is it other women? I certainly have never felt pressure from men to wear a dress. But I grew up in a family where I was told to wear my very best. As a child, I did not have dressy pants. So I wore a skirt. This "tradition" so to speak, continued on into my adulthood.

Quote from the Article: 
"Others said they could not participate because they were fearful of ridicule or reprimand."

My Opinion: 
A few things here. Yes, there are probably women who would judge you for wearing pants to church. My thought is, "Who cares?" If someone is going to judge you based on what you are wearing, let them. It's their problem. Also, if you are afraid of ridicule or reprimand from someone, educate yourself on the doctrine so if they say something to you, you can correct them. Hopefully you can do so in a kind, loving, manner. Maybe this would teach this person something about judging others. One could hope.

Quote from the Article: 
"Organizers hope the dialogue will now expand to include issues like the ordination of women, or women taking on more responsibilities at church events."

My Opinion:
This just bugs the crap out of me.  It's not going to happen. And honestly, I don't know why you would want it. It is a HUGE responsibility to have. I've got enough on my plate, what with being responsible for the care and well-being of raising my children in the Gospel. Plus, there must be balance in a marriage. God made man and woman equal yes, but not the same. Why do we get so caught up in thinking the word equal means exactly the same. That is not it. Eve was created as a partner for Adam. I find that the best thing about my marriage is that my failings are his strengths and vise-versea. How horrible would it be to have the same weaknesses? Men have the power and responsibility of bearing the Priesthood. Women have the power and responsibility of bearing children. This BALANCES the relationship. That's my thought anyway. And MORE responsibilities at church events. We plan, decorate, participate, and you want MORE? Three words: No Thank You.

Quote from the Article:
"Julie Tuovi Baker Hansen, a lawyer in Burbank, Calif., who participated while visiting a Salt Lake City suburb, said she was surprised to see a man raise his hand and say, “Women who want to wear pants, they just don’t know how to follow the Lord.”"

My Opinion:
 This man is an idiot. They are everywhere. Not just in the Mormon church.

Quote from the Article:
"They also cited the pronounced role of the Boy Scouts in the church — boys routinely become troop leaders in the organization, but girls have no similar outlet with the Girl Scouts"
My Opinion: 
My Mother is the Cub Master for the Boy Scouts, and most of the leaders in our Troop are Women in fact. I'm not sure why there isn't Girl Scouts. Personally, I didn't ever really care. I was involved with GS for about a year (I think). Wasn't for me. Glad the church wasn't involved because then my parents didn't make me go.   :)

Basically, the thing that irks me about this article is not the fact that women wore pants to church. I could really care less actually. I would prefer pants to some of the too short of skirts that I see walking around. But hey, there I am being judgmental.  What really ticks me off is that this article is being used as "proof" that Mormon men are sexist jerks and that Mormon women are submissive, feeble women, who have no control or say in anything. I just think, "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?" Have any of you met my mother? Or most of the Mormon Women I know? They are the most opinionated, strong, aggressive, powerful, wonderful, smart, educated, and forward thinking women I have ever met in my life. Also, their husbands tend to be some of the kindest,  supportive, respectful, loving, and just all-out freaking AMAZING men.

Now, do sexist people exist in the church? Do we all make judgements of people that are uncalled for and just plain stupid? Of course. We are everywhere. So please, if you want to wear pants to church, wear them. If you expect me to high-five you for doing so, sorry, not going to. Just like I won't high-five you for wearing a skirt. I honestly don't care what you wear. It's all about why. Why are you wearing a skirt/pants? Is it out of reverence and/or respect to the Savior or to try and push boundaries? Personally, I wear pants pretty much 24-6, and I enjoy the opportunity to dress up and wear a skirt. I like it. So I'm gonna keep doing it. Please don't think that I am anti-feminist because I don't want to wear pants to church. Or do. Again, I don't really care.

**Sorry if this offended anyone. It wasn't meant in anger or spite. Just a crazy person's opinion.**

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Birth Story

Aria is laying peacefully right now, so I'm going to try and get this out. Spoiler alert, some of the information below may be a little graphic and detailed. So be forewarned!

I woke up on Tuesday morning about 7:00 a.m. I had a little pain in my abdomen. I laid there for a while, and at 7:30 I nudged Ben and said, I think I'm having contractions. I haven't had much braxton hicks or anything during my pregnancy, so I wasn't quite sure. I called my mother, who didn't have her phone on her, and then called my sister. She confirmed that what I was experiencing was, in fact, contractions. Mom eventually made her way over, and we discussed that they were about 15 minutes apart. I decided to get up and move, shower and then go over to my Mom's house where they were working on the basement.

The contractions stopped. I was pretty bummed. All the rest of the day, I would have one every now and then, but I thought, "This baby isn't coming tonight" Mom and I went for a long walk around the block. The contractions picked back up to around 10-13 minutes apart again. They weren't really painful, just a little uncomfortable.

It was my two nephew's last basketball games of the season at Central, so I decided to go down and watch them. They were playing a big rival, Newport. I sat and watched both the Freshman and JV games, keeping track of my contractions. They were five minutes apart. Then I started watching the Varsity Game. They were still 5 minutes apart and getting a little stronger. This had been going on for about three hours now. Mom, LeAnne, and Michelle all suggested that I go into the hospital and see how dilated I was. So I drove home, got Ben and we drove to the hospital. The contractions suddenly escalated in pain as we drove there.

We checked in at 9 and a nurse checked me. Dilated to a 1 1/2. I just sighed, "Seriously?" I was at a one last week. So she said that we'd chill for an hour and see if I progressed. I didn't. She said they were discharging me and sending me home. I kind of freaked out. At this point, the contractions were making me double over in pain, and my back felt like it was being broken in two. The nurse saw me have a contraction and suggested I get into one of their tubs and see if I progressed any. She believed the baby was facing the wrong way, which would explain the back labor, and me not progressing. So I gave it a shot. An hour later I was dilated to a 3, and admitted to the hospital. We called Mom. This was at around 12:30 in the morning.

Mom and Melissa arrived at the hospital at around 1 am and I got the epidural at 1:30. Let me tell you, that was the easiest thing ever. They placed the epidural when I was having a contraction, and I was so focused on breathing through the pain, that I didn't even feel it. When they put the IV in my arm, that hurt more. Basically it was the BEST.DECISION.EVER. I was able to move my legs on my own, wiggle my toes and basically move as much as I wanted. It was wonderful. At this point I was dilated to a 4.

An hour later the nurse told us that I was at a 9. Mom quickly called my sister LeAnne and told her to pick up Dad. We were certain that baby would be here with in the hour. Even though my water hadn't broken yet.

For some reason, they wouldn't call the on call doctor in to break my water. We later learned they just didn't want to wake him. Lame. My doctor finally came in for her rotation at around 8 and broke my water. That was when we found out that the baby had a bowel movement while still inside, which meant that she could possible ingest it into her lungs. The Doctor said that there would be a team of people in the room ready to take her and suction her lungs out if need be. Basically, if she came out and breathed/cried on her own, no problem. But if they had to stimulate her, they would have to suction. I freaked just a little. Michelle arrived around this point.

They started to have me push. But quickly realized that when I did, the baby's heart rate dropped dramatically. They were now worried that the cord was wrapped around her neck. So they decided to let her descend as far down on her own with out me pushing as possible.

A few hours later, we finally got ready to push again, but the girl next door had an emergency C-Section. My doctor was worried that if I wasn't able to get the baby out quickly enough, we'd have to have a C-Section too, so she didn't want the room tied up. So we waited. Again. She explained to me that she only wanted the baby to go through the stress of pushing for a limited time since it was affecting her heart rate so servery, and made it very clear to me that getting her out quickly was the priority.

Finally, at 11:40, she said it was time to push. 7 minutes later, my baby girl was here. Screaming with all the force she could muster!

Now here comes the TMI part so skip if you don't want to know.

Apparently, because I had to get her out so quickly, and was able to, not only did I tear, but I tore up and to the side. The right labia nearly ripped completely off. Three additional doctors had to be brought in to repair me. My doctor said that I was lucky that I had the epidural because they were able to repair me right then and there while I held the baby instead of rushing me off to an OR. She also said that if I hadn't been able to get her out that quickly, I would've had a C-section for sure. So there are some things to be grateful for there, even though it has made my body's recovery a little more... intense. :)
Ok, you can read now if you skipped before!

Little did we realize that not only did the baby poop while in the womb, but she actually pooped all over me while I was holding her and they were working on me. Nice. They finally got me and her all cleaned up, and Ben and I decided on naming her. We both had gotten down to two names independently: Aria and Isabella. I asked if he was leaning toward one. He said he was leaning toward Aria. I agreed. My sister Michelle then suggested naming her Aria Isabella. Ben and I really liked that. Not only did it have a nice ring to it, but we decided that as she grew, if Aria didn't quite suit her, we could call her by her middle name. It was a win win for everyone involved.

Giving birth was something I will not soon forget. I loved having my husband there to support me and hold me while I was in pain and then again while I was trying to get our baby girl here. I was so grateful for my Mom and Sisters that were there to talk and keep me company as we waited and waited. I only got frustrated that they were drinking Dt. Pepsi and I couldn't have one! :)

I'll blog more about the hospital experience and what has been the most trying part of being a mom later, but there is the birth story of our beautiful Aria Isabella Smith. Born on her due date 2/22/12. She's quite perfect.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

It's almost over! Yay?

Let's get one thing clear: I'm glad and grateful that I'm pregnant.

Let's get another thing clear: being pregnant is hard.

I'm reaching the end of my pregnancy and as terrified as I am of actually having a baby, I'm getting quite anxious to to get this baby out of me. Coincidence? I think not.

Child birth is a scary thing for me. I've always been scared of it (thank you BYU Human Development class video). I don't need to tell anyone that knows me that I have quite the imagination. And I've thought about all the things that can go wrong. Yes I know it's unhealthy, but I do.

I think of Ben's childhood friend Gabe and his wife and how she almost died because of some disease they knew nothing about. I think of my sister's friend who's heart beat stopped as she was sitting talking to her husband in the hospital. And all the improbable things that could happen.

Then there is all the things that could be wrong with the baby. My whole pregnancy I've been obsessed with her movements and stats. I won't go into all the horrific things I've thought about, but needless to say, I want her here so I can count all the fingers and toes.

I think that you get so uncomfortable these last few weeks so that you practically scream, "get out of me!" and are willing to undergo the potential pain/terror/joy that the call child birth.

I'm am most excited to see her, hold her, smell her, and figure out her name! But here are a few other things that I'm excited about NOT being pregnant any more:

1. Heartburn. Yeah that sucks! It's constant and you get mild relief. Ben is actually grateful that ice had this experience cause he's always had bad heartburn in our marriage, and he never thought I could sympathize. Now I can.

2. The belly. I actually love my belly. I love knowing my baby is in there, and that I can eat and not worry about having a belly. But I am looking forward to not having to hold it when I roll over, or get out of bed. The pain it causes because it stretches the sides and feels like its bruised. Kicking my ribs like they're a zilaphone or pushing on my bladder...

3. Sickness. I've had nausea my whole pregnancy. Second trimester more that others, but I can't wait to enjoy food again.

4. Not having to eat 24/7. It's rather annoying. :)

5. Sleeping on my stomach. Ahhh.... That would be wonderful.

6. Most of all, I'm looking forward to getting her here, safe and sound.

2 weeks left.... Yikes!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

First Surprise of 2012

Life is full of unexpected changes.

I have been dreading writing this post for a week, not sure how much I was wanting to share. But I figure only our friends and family read this, so... here goes.

Last Wednesday Ben and I received some bad news. Due to details that I am not going to go into, Ben lost his job. It obviously came as a shock to the both of us, and the timing could not be worse. Baby girl is due Feb 20-ish and our insurance is now canceled at the end of January. Like I said, great timing.

There isn't a whole lot more to say other than Ben and I are doing fine. Sometimes it is hard to wrap our minds around how quickly our life is changing, and not only due to the fact that we are about to have a baby.

On the flip side, we still feel incredibly blessed. We feel that this is a blessing in disguise and will eventually work out to our benefit. We live amongst a wonderful support system of family and friends and know that no matter what happens, we will be taken care of. And above all else, we have each other, and our baby is healthy. I keep thinking that things could be worse, and then silently beg the Lord not to prove me right. :)

For those of you who are already aware of our situation, we are thankful for the support and love that you have already given us. We are truly blessed by the love of our friends, family and the Lord.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Some Fun Photos

So Ben and I are selling our coffee and side tables (cause I bought new ones) and I had to download them from Ben's phone. Apparently he hadn't downloaded his photos in a while and there were some that I thought I would share. :) These are from this last year.

This dog often thinks that she is our baby... So we thought we'd see if it would work out.

We were pretty sure Miley would get run over trying to jog next to the bike, so we strapped her in.

The first thing we bought when we found out we were pregnant. :) We saw a little girl in Costco curled up with it just like this and said, YUP, we're buying it. Ironically we are having a little girl!

Got our dogs drunk on pizza, ranch and Dt. Pepsi...

I keep feeling sorry for them about how their life is going to change. Someone else will be curled up with their Daddy... so sad.
Just some fun photos. Eventually I'll post the photos of the house and what it looked like when we bought it andwhat it ended up being. The outside and the inside have totally changed. I love it!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What's occupying my mind of late...

4 things: baby, baby, baby and oh yeah, did I mention THE BABY! That's pretty much what has been occupying every waking thought, and even the dreams. I read something on my baby app that perfectly describes what I'm feeling right now. Let me share it with you...

" third-trimester insomnia strikes more than 75% of expectant moms. Very tired expectant moms. The hormonal changes, the midnight treks to the bathroom, the leg cramps, the heartburn that won't quit, the fact that you can't get comfortable when you're in bed with a watermelon where you're tummy used to be, and the anxiety you're likely feeling about the impending birth of your baby (and the fact that you haven't decided on a name for your baby) all contribute to your inability to catch some z's"

Yup. Spot on.

Let's dissect a little.

1. Hormonal changes: I've actually been pretty good. Or at least Ben says so... And he would tell me. But I cried every time I watched the ending of White Christmas this year. Every time. Ugh.

2. Bathroom trips. I'd actually be okay going to the bathroom multiple times a night if I actually had to pee. But the fact that it's not very much and I feel like I'm going to burst.. Really ticks me off at 3, and 4 and 5 in the morning.

3. Leg cramps: more like butt cramps. I have a bad sciatic and it feeds this one nerve in my butt cheek. If I turn to lay on the right side, it gets mad. I have Ben try and rub it out for me. Trust me, our husband rubbing your butt, not as sexy as youd think it to be.

4. Heartburn. Ben has always had bad heartburn and takes prescription mess for it. I never truly appreciated it. Now I do. Poor Ben. I love him.

5. Getting comfortable in bed: if you're a stomach sleeping like I am, switch now to your side. It'll save you A LOT of issues when your pregnant and can't sleep on your belly. Can't wait for that to be a possibility again. The extra weight on my hips makes them hurt but I basically have no other option. Oddly, snuggling with Ben helps me sleep. Again, I love him.

6. Anxiety about the birth. Yup. I'm nervous. I watched Melissa do it, no problem. But still... I worry about the epidural needle, the pain, the tearing, something being wrong with the baby and Ben being gone. He is traveling early Feb to Utah... Makes me nervous.

7. The baby name: We're having trouble. Here are a few we are thinking of: Ainsley, Aria, Harper, Avery, Fiona, Isabella. Feel free to Wei in, just heed the last blog post: be tactful if you don't like a name. Or better yet, just tell me the ones that you like.

So yeah, that's what I've been thinking about. But on a more positive note, I'm very excited. I'm excited to hold her, to see who she looks like, see Ben with her, watch her grow, smile, crawl, laugh, talk... All those things. I love her so much already and I'm so excited to see that Compound and grow even more. I'm excited to have her grow up with her cousins Kalli and Lily and LeAnne's little boy who is coming soon after. I'm excited to see how motherhood changes me, and Ben. I'm excited for the most challenging and rewarding adventure that we've ever had! See, getting emotional. Dang hormones. :)

Basically, I'm scared silly but excited. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I'm a bad blogger

Okay, so I know that I haven't blogged in a LONG time. Shame on me. But in all fairness, I've lost my camera cord, so I don't have any pictures of things that I've been wanting to blog about. (i.e Brigadoon ect) So all the pictures that I do have are from my phone. Sorry for the quality.

But here is an update on life in general right now. Beware... it's long.

Stay at Home Wife.
In November I stopped working at my job at Saber Transportation. It is the slow season right now for trucking and they wanted to get my replacement in and trained before it was so busy that it would completely overwhelm her.

Cheer leading
As many of you know I am one of the Cheer coaches at the local High School. Working with High Schoolers I'm used to, but 20+ girls, just girls, man DRAMA. Our football team went into playoffs which extended the season that much longer. Needless to say, we were all ready to be done when the boys lost in the semi-finals. I love those girls, but sometimes I just wanted to tell them to shut the heck up and stop complaining. Sometimes I did. :)
Here is two photos of them after we won and were going on the semi finals.

It has been nice not working but oh man, how much work I do at home. I cook, clean, mop and organize all the time. The first week I was home, I went a little crazy and over did it. I paid for that later. But it has been nice to actually move into the house. When we bought in May we moved in superficially and then suddenly I was pregnant, sick, working and do the show. Needless to say I didn't feel much like figuring out where to put the extra towels that we never use. But now that is the challenge. Every now and then when I organize a part of the house, I get so happy and I love it. I actually love my laundry room cause it's so organized.

I am also decorating the house. We have much more space and I wanted to lighten up the look we had going on. My condo in Utah was very dark and Red, so we're adding some light tables and rugs and this beautiful blue color to brighten up the place. So far I love it.
This is the material for our curtain panels

The nursery... well, it's not done, or even started, but I'm not too worried about it. She won't be using it for a while, and lets be honest, she won't care if I paint it before she's born or when she's one. So, for now, we've got the crib and bedding set up and that's good enough for now.

I also get to spend more time with this little monkey. I love her so much. I watch her for Melissa sometimes when she has to go to meetings for work, or just go over and visit. Just look at these pictures and you'll see why I just adore her.

In front of the Christmas tree

She was supposed to go down for at least an hour. She was asleep for 30 min. I was making the bed, this is the look I got. Makes me laugh. Little stinker.

Playing with Sadie on the bed. She was still working on sitting up, so the bed was nice so she didn't hurt herself when she fell over. It's also good for Sadie to learn if she goes near a baby, she will grab you and if you snap at her, you get BEAT. So hopefully she learns just to stay away from the baby.

She was supposed to be going to sleep, but she kept smiling at me. Stinker.

Pregnancy Stuff
Names. No one tells you how much pressure naming a human being can be. We have such a common last name, that we wanted something a little different than 'Jane'. But we're having a difficult time. So far the names that we like are Isabella, Avery, Fiona. We'll see what she looks like and what we feel is the right name for her. Being in the family I am, they are not shy about their opinions. Sometimes that is nice, but all I ask is if you don't like a name, TACTFULLY say that you don't like it. Don't just down right say, "Oh that is terrible! Why would you name your child that?" Cause knowing me, I'm going to name her that just to tick you off now. Yes, not a valid reason to name a child, but at least I know myself well enough to know that I would do it.

I hate insurance by the way. I think that it sucks. That's all I've got to say on the matter really. But there is a reason that I refuse to go see the doctor at all costs because they charge you $400 to draw some blood. Stupid.

The Belly.
No one prepares you, or really can, for how huge you feel. I look at old photos and think, "Man, I was so stupid to think I was big then" It feels like I've got this weight on the front of my body, constantly pulling me down. You can imagine how lovely that feels on my back. You never realize how much you use your abs until you can't use them anymore. The weirdest feeling I've had of late is when she is stretching and both sides of my belly go out. It's not a swift kick or a ripple. Just a stretching of the sides. I keep thinking that she's trying to claw her way out of me. I never should have read twilight. :) Every time she kicks me I say in my mind, "Good Girl" cause that means she's doing just fine.

I haven't gained much weight, about 12-15 pounds. I love, and I mean LOVE maternity jeans. Why I procrastinated buying those for as long as I did... stupid. They are so so comfy, I may never go back. :)

Feeling HUGE!

I have also decided that people just need to shut it when it comes to commenting on your pregnancy. "Oh you're carrying low, it's a boy" "You're carrying high, it's a girl" or "You're so tiny, I bet she's petite" "She's going to be big, look at that belly" "Oh you think you're big now, just wait" or my favorite, "It gets worse"

Seriously, everyone thinks something different. I'm low, I'm high, I'm big, I'm small. The discomfort I'm feeling now doesn't matter cause it just gets worse. My response to most of those are, yeah well BITE ME.

Throughout all of this Ben has been amazing. And that doesn't even cover it. When I was in my first and second trimester, I basically never had to cook or clean. He's been so supportive of me getting rest, taking it easy and just taking care of the baby. He nags me to eat more, but that's Ben's solution to everything. Food. :) I love him and am so excited to see him with our baby. He's going to be such a push over, it's funny.

Well, that's all for now. I'll try and do better. :)